No cheating!
by NighttimePhilosopher
Summary: Steven and Lapis pit their 'familiars' against each other in an all-out battle to the death. In other words, merciless family bonding/amedot fluff to brighten your day.


Grass swayed calmly in the plain field, pushed by the gentle wind. Ladybugs flew by, merrily going by in their day. Dust and dirt remained settled. A pumpkin dog could be seen snoozing near its owner's residence lazily. The whole area was totally ignorant of the fact that a fierce battle was about to take place.

A boy could be seen standing a distance away from a taller, bluer person, both of them in a large patch of grassless dirt - as if this spot was selected purposely. The opposing beings each had an ally with them.

"Muhaha! You'll never beat us!" The boy - Steven – chuckled in a taunting manner, his hands on his hips in a proud gesture as a purple warrior stood beside him. She looked like she was ready to pounce on whoever her poor opponent was, eyes grinning and hands in a grabbing motion.

"I don't agree with your words." Lapis – his opponent - challenged dryly, thrusting her open hand towards her enemies in a gesture that did not match her tone. A scrawny green being stepped out from behind her, rubbing her hands together and cackling evilly. She wore an untrustworthy smile, like she was plotting something devious.

"How will your Peridot win against my Amethyst? This is a match where brains will not win against brawn." Commented Steven on his opponent's 'familiar'.

"I don't know" Lapis admitted. "I'm sure she'll think of something."

That made Steven laugh, breaking his character for a bit. While he wasn't his warlock-summoner persona, he made sure no one had any questions. "So, do we all know the rules? The summoner can issue one command at a time, and the familiar has to obey unless it's out of their range of abilities." The 'familiars' and Lapis nodded.

"No attacks with force so that somebody actually gets hurt." Everybody looked at Amethyst and she made a show of chomping the air in retaliation.

"If a familiar is beaten, then they are defeated and that's _final_." He pronounced, not letting himself look at the purple gem because he knew that was another rule she was prone to breaking.

"If there are no questions, then let's begin the ULTIMATE MAGIC WIZARD FAMILIAR MONSTER BATTLE!" The hybrid yelled excitedly, raising his hands like he was conjuring a lightning storm above him. The weather did not change as his voice echoed through the sleepy farmland, a bird unrelatedly taking off from a nearby tree.

Lapis flicked her hand out absently again, commanding Peridot to oppose Steven's wild familiar. The green gem stepped forward and lifted a leg as if ready to do a little kick as she held her hands to her chest like tiny claws.

Amethyst stepped forward without an order from Steven to do so, holding her hands in fists and bopping back and forth on the spot. Behind her, Steven bowed a little.

"Full-blooded gems first?" He saluted, offering Lapis to have the first turn (yes, they made it turn-based).

The ocean gem nodded and accepted. "Peridot. Kick Amethyst." She issued, and the green gem pattered over to the quartz warrior anti-climatically before lifting her leg and smacking Amethyst in the torso with it. The move pushed the purple gem back a little with miniscule effect, but Peridot smirked like she clearly had the upper hand.

"Ugh." Said Amethyst.

Steven permitted Amethyst to counter-attack. "Amethyst! Don't give up!" He encouraged. "Summon your whip!"

The purple gem did so and lifted it with a grin, but Steven yelled out "That was our turn!", so she had to put it back down.

"C'mon dude, I wanna fight!" she complained, shoulders sagging and face drooping as she rolled her eyes.

"Those are the rules. One move, one turn. Lapis, it's your time to strike while we prepare."

"Cool." The chill water gem said. "Peridot, do the same thing as last time."

"Okay!" The green gem agreed, whacking her partner in the side this time with another 'nyeh!' Amethyst staggered sidewards, growling in frustration at being told to wait.

"My turn! Use your whip to ensnare her, Amethyst!" the boy commanded, doing a wiggly thing with his fingers.

"Finally!" growled the impatient gem as she flicked her weapon out to catch her enemy. Peridot eeped and dodged without being told to, and the whip went limp on the ground where she once was.

"Is she allowed to do that?" called Lapis from the opposite side.

"Yes, but only if you tell her fast enough."

"Aw come on!" Amethyst yelled. "Stop makin' up rules outta nowhere!"

"I didn't! These were always rules, I just forgot to mention them." Steven peeped out.

"Peridot, dodge her."

"I already did."

"This is crap-"

"AMETHYST, IT'S OUR TURN! Do a spin dash around the battle arena to confuse Peridot!" Steven the strategist called out.

The quartz gladly obliged, using her inborn ability to wheel around the dusty makeshift court. She spun round it several times, stirring up clouds of dust and grit. The stuff went everywhere, getting in everyone's eyes and mouth and making them sputter.

"Okay, okay" Steven coughed. "No more spin dash." He commanded as Amethyst reappeared at his side. They watched as Peridot rubbed at her visor to clear it of the filth, murmuring angrily. She knew it was overkill, so the quartz went up to her opponent and grabbed her shoulder to get her to stop what she was doing before spitting on her fist and wiping away the covering layer. The green gem blinked her eyes under their protective visor before staring at Amethyst.

"Appreciated, Amethyst." she nodded, not adverse to the purple gem's actions despite being on different sides.

"You're not allowed to do that!" Steven yelled from the sidelines. "I didn't tell you to! But good job for being kind to your enemy."

"Thanks." Amethyst snorted sarcastically, wandering back to Steven to resume battle. "She _is_ my girlfriend, y'know."

"That was two turns." Lapis called from her side. "We should get two turns too."

"Uh, that's true. You guys get two turns, then we go back to one."

Amethyst sighed again.

The water gem made use of her bonus. "Peridot, grapple Amethyst, then roll her to the ground!" she commanded, this time with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. Maybe she was starting to get into the game.

Peridot approached her partner like she was looking for an opening before launching herself, grabbing onto Amethyst's shoulders. Amethyst grabbed back like it was a dramatic fight, preparing herself to get flung. Then Peridot went to throw her over her shoulder….

And she couldn't.

"Hnnnnnggggg…!" she grunted, straining. She clenched her teeth and pulled at Amethyst's arm, powered by her stick-thin shoulders. Her weak form just trembled. Everybody watched as she tried very hard to lift Amethyst even remotely off her feet. After a minute passed, she gave up and said "I can't do it…"

"Hah! The move failed!" mocked Steven. "That was your two turns! Now, Amethyst!" he authorized "Go floppy!"

Amethyst turned her head back to her opponent, grinning mercilessly at her before simply falling limply on the gem. They both toppled to the ground, Peridot squished under Amethyst with a squeak.

"Ha ha, victory!" cheered Steven as Peridot squirmed under Amethyst's unmoving, smug form.

"Not yet!" countered Lapis from her side. She flung her summoning hand with energy that now matched her tone. "Peridot, get away!"

Peridot wiggled, but it was fruitless. Amethyst was too heavy. Lapis balled her hand dramatically and her face looked distraught. "It failed!"

"There's nothing you can do now, Lapis Lazuli." Steven jeered. "Your familiar cannot best mine!" Amethyst laughed evilly to back him up.

Lapis stared at the boy for a while, and everybody, including Peridot, was confused. It turns out she was waiting for him when she said simply "It's your turn, Steven."

"Oh, right." The boy said, falling out of character again. Picking it back up, he cleared his throat and told Amethyst her next move. "Let her go. We will give them one more chance to fight back."

His purple familiar complied, rolling off the green gem and helping her up. Peridot quickly skittered back to Lapis' side after she was standing again. The blue gem couldn't waste this opportunity given to her. She looked over her familiar's dirtied form, knowing this was a last ditch effort to win the battle. She knew that she had to use Peridot's strengths. Biting prowess? That might count as an attack that could actually hurt. Metal powers? No, there was no metal in range. What could really counter Amethyst and her strengths as a quartz? Lapis didn't hesitate as soon as the idea came to her.

"Peridot! Use your charm ability!" she commanded, a smirk unable to leave her face.

Peridot gave her a confused look. "Charm? Oh! Right!" she gasped in realisation, turning to her opponent. The cunning green gem began to approach Amethyst slowly. Steven and the purple gem held their breaths in anticipation as they waited to see what this 'charm' ability was.

The warrior quartz could not move (literally) as Peridot took hold of her hand softly, lifting it to her lips and placing a little kiss on it. She never broke eye contact with Amethyst's deep eyes, and this led to the poor gem's nose and cheeks going a whole shade darker in lavender. All she could manage was a small sound as the green gem moved to hug her, threading her tiny arms around her squishy waist and pressing their chests together. As if this wasn't enough, Peridot nuzzled her way through Amethyst's hair to her neck, resting there and emitting purrs of satisfaction.

It wasn't long before Amethyst made a low rumbling sound and cuddled back, her thick arms keeping her partner to her. The action let Steven know she had fallen prey to the charm's effect. He tried not to smile as he held his hand to his forehead in fake anguish, crashing to his knees dramatically.

"No! The power of love is too strong!" he wailed to the sky as Peridot cuddled and kissed Amethyst to submission on the ground.

"We win!" cheered Lapis, who ended up having to pull her familiar off of Steven's so she would celebrate.

"Back you go into the void, familiar." Wept Steven beside his fallen warrior.

Amethyst just looked up to the sky from her position on the ground, smiling sillily. "Huh, we lost..? Bummer…"


End file.
